Hayley+Cooke

Domestic violence has forever been present in households because of a constant struggle for power and domination between partners. Domestic violence is defined as any pattern of abusive behaviour in a relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner (About Domestic Violence 1). Until the 1950s, there was no education, support, publicity, or legal remedies for domestic abuse. Thankfully, during the political movements of the late 1960s, feminist advocates started to raise awareness, and “break the silence” about the unspoken issue (Hague and Wilson 157). However, though there is now much more awareness about domestic violence, it is unfortunately still very present in the world today. Domestic abuse varies in mode, frequency, severity, and injury and the effects on the victim can be mild, moderate, or severe (Domestic Violence: Wikipedia 1). However, no matter the type of abuse, the memories of domestic violence scar a victim for life. As a final introductory note, though domestic abuse is present all around the world, for the purpose of this report, the main focus is its impact on north-western society. According to a national American research project, one in every four women will be a victim of domestic violence in her lifetime (Domestic Violence Facts: Ohio 1). In Ontario specifically, an average of seven percent of Ontario women are currently victims of domestic abuse (Domestic Violence: OSACH 1). Across Canada in 2008, only 14% of violent crimes committed against women were by strangers, and 8 in 10 victims of domestic violence were women. A survey of 12,300 Canadian women also showed that “30% have been assaulted by their partner at least once, 20% have been assaulted more than once, and almost 10% have been assaulted more than ten times” (Topic: Domestic Violence 1). All of these statistics are proof that domestic violence is still very relevant in our society. Next, a look at the different types of abuse shows exactly how, and in what ways, women are abused. There are five main modes of domestic abuse - physical, sexual, emotional, economic, and psychological (About Domestic Violence 1). All types of abuse are different, but the abusers all have the same goal of dominating their partners through violence. Physical violence is defined by the use of physical force against a person in a way that hurts or endangers that person. Though there is a very wide range of violent actions under this category, some include grabbing, pushing, hitting, and choking (Belmonte 1). In most cases, the physical violence with the most severe injuries is violence with a weapon (e.g. with a hockey stick, a firm-arm, etc.). Sexual abuse, on the other hand, refers to the coercion or attempted coercion of any sort of sexual contact or behaviour without the consent from the other partner. These sexually abusive acts include marital rape, forcing sex after physical violence has occurred, attacks on sexual parts of the body, and treating one in a sexually diminishing manner (About Domestic Violence 1). Physical and sexual abuses are the two forms of domestic violence that harm the victim’s body. However, emotional, economic, and psychological abuse are just as damaging, though much more difficult for the victims to pick up on. Emotional abuse occurs when the abuser diminishes their partner’s self-esteem and/or self-worth. A few of examples of emotional violence are undermining ones abilities, constant criticism, sabotaging ones relationship with his or her family or children, and name-calling (About Domestic Violence 1). Though very similar to emotional abuse, psychological abuse has several different, and slightly more psychologically damaging characteristics. Psychological abuse includes threatening physical harm to oneself, partner, family or friends; causing fear by intimidation; and forcing isolation from family, friends, school, or work (About Domestic Violence 1). Finally, economic abuse allows the abuser to gain control of the victim’s life by making them completely financially dependent. Economic abuse includes controlling the finances, preventing the victim from working or choosing their own career, and withholding money or credit cards (Belmonte 1). Financial abuse makes it incredibly difficult for victims to escape, because they would have no money to live off of should they leave the relationship. It is now evident that there are numerous ways that an abuser can abuse a victim. However, before exploring why domestic violence occurs, and why victims take it, it is important to reiterate that “those who have experienced many types of abuse will [say] that bruises heal, but the emotional scars can last forever” (Family Violence Statistics 1). Though none of these reasons condone domestic violence, there are several explanations as to why domestic abuse occurs. Firstly, many abusers have violent tendencies because of past childhood experiences in their households. For example, if a child witnesses his father routinely hitting, screaming at, and abusing his mother while growing up, the idea that these actions are acceptable is eventually imprinted in the child’s psyche. Therefore, when it comes time for a serious relationship of his own, that grown-up child will not even think twice about treating his partner that same way (Causes of Domestic Violence 1). In fact, boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults (Domestic Violence Facts: Ohio 1). Another common cause of domestic violence is low self-esteem, and the extreme jealousy that results from low confidence (Goldsmith 1). By finding a partner that they can dominate and control, the abuser feels much more confident about his or her capabilities, and therefore, much better about his or herself. Also, individuals with traditional, old-fashioned views about relationships may still feel that it is acceptable for men to treat women in ways that were socially acceptable years ago (Goldsmith 1). Some other common characteristics of domestic abusers are difficulties in anger management, drug and/or alcohol addiction, psycho-pathology and other personality disorders, social stress, and many more (Domestic Violence: Wikipedia 1). To those who have never experienced abuse, it is very difficult to understand why victims stay in abusive relationships. To understand this trend, Lenore Walker explains the three components of the domestic violence cycle. The first phase is the ‘Tension Build-up’ component. In this phase, there are problems that arise in a relationship that cause tension and conflict. In the ‘Explosion and Anger’ phase, the tension reaches a point in which the abuser can no longer contain his or her anger, and some type of abuse takes place. The third and final ‘Honeymoon’ phase is the period of guilt and remorse that follows an incident. The abuser makes promises, the victim accepts the apologies, and the abuser is forgiven. There is calmness in the relationship, but only until the cycle starts up again. Walker theorizes that this perpetuating cycle cannot be broken until the family receives intervention (Topic: Domestic Violence 1). In addition to getting trapped in this cycle, there are several reasons why victims stay in abusive relationships. Firstly, many individuals stay in abusive relationships because even though the relationship is extremely unhealthy, it is oddly safe and familiar because it is the lifestyle they have been used to for so long. Some other victims don’t even realize they are being “abused”, and think that is how all relationships function. On the other hand, individuals with low self-esteem may stay because they feel like no one else would ever love them, or perhaps that they deserve the abuse. Victims that are overly optimistic or in denial may think that their abuser did not // really // mean to hurt him or her, and or that everything will be alright in the long run because they “love each other”. Though there are many other reason why individuals stay in abusive situations, the most hopeless, extreme sentiment is that if they leave, their abuser will kill them (Faulkner 1). Thankfully, even though domestic abuse is still quite common, there is now much more support and help available to victims. There are countless help-lines, websites, and shelters around the world trying to reach out to the victims of domestic abuse (Family Violence Statistics 1). The problem that remains, however, is exactly how to get victims to take advantage of these services. With so much awareness, and a much better understanding about the psychology of domestic violence, the next step that needs to be taken is turning all of this knowledge into action - so that no individual ever has to feel like they are unsafe around the people they love. Works Cited "About Domestic Violence." __USDOJ: Office on Violence Against Women__. 04 Feb. 2009 . Belmonte, Joelle. "Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships." __Helpguide.org: Mental Health, Relationships, Healthy Lifestyles, Aging__. 2001-2009. 04 Feb. 2009 . "Causes Of Domestic Violence." __Life Challenges - AllAboutLifeChallenges.org__. 2002-2009. 04 Feb. 2009 . "Domestic violence -." __Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia__. 04 Feb. 2009 . "Domestic Violence Facts: Ohio." __National Coalition Against Domestic Violence__. 04 Feb. 2009 . "Domestic Violence." __OSACH :: Ontario Safety Association for Community and Healthcare__. 04 Feb. 2009 . "Family Violence Statistics." __Domestic Abuse Must Stop__. 13 Nov. 2008. 04 Feb. 2009 . Faulkner, Nancy. "Domestic Violence." __Sexual Abuse__. 1997-2006. 04 Feb. 2009 . Goldsmith, Toby D. "What Causes Domestic Violence?" __PsychCentral__ 19 Oct. 2006. 4 Feb. 2009 . Hague, Gill, and Claudia Wilson. "The Silenced Pain: Domestic Violence 1945-1970." __Journal of Gender Studies__ 9 (2000): 157-69. 4 Feb. 2009 . "Topic: Domestic Violence." __Canadian Government: Deal.org__. 04 Feb. 2009 .